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Death of a Spouse


heartbroken

I lost my husband of twenty two years on August twenty third two thousand nine.He has been my sweetheart since I was fourteen. He had a rare form of Leukemia, he died four weeks after diagnosis. I miss him so terribly, we were always together and now it is so lonesome. My children call some but it just isn't the same. No one seems to understand. I was there when he passed , he was at home. I can't seem to get passing out of my mind. I keep thinking that there was more I could have done to save him, more that I wish I could have said. How do you go on with such an empty place in your heart?
  posted by heartbroken on October 14, 2009


Comments:

Hi Heartbroken,
So sorry to hear about the loss of the love of your life. I just wanted to
tell you that you are not alone in what you are going through.

I lost my partner on April 28th of this year. She was only 49 and was the love of my life. Like you and your husband, we were always together. I really thought I was not going to survive her death.
I just wanted to share a few things with you .

First, you MUST focus on taking one day at a time. If necessary, one hour
at a time. Don't try to look ahead because it will be too difficult for you
to do right now. You are being flooded by grief, memories both good and bad,
dealing with being alone after having been in a loving relationship, and
trying to figure out how to survive without the love of your life. This is
ENORMOUS! I would be happy to share everything that has helped me this far
but there is so much to tell you that I can't possibly cover it in one
message.

For now just remember you MUST focus on taking one day at a time. If
necessary, one hour at a time.
It's not easy, and you probably don't think you can do it right now, and
right now you can't do it, BUT the day will come that you will find reasons
to want to live. You will actually be able to smile, and someday, you will
pick up the pieces of your life and figure out where you are going to go
from here!

Wishing you a peaceful night's sleep, John





  posted by wolfie on October 15, 2009

Dear Heartbroken: My heart goes out to you as I have just lost the love of my life too. He passed away on Oct. 9th, 2009 and I'm grieving and very angry at the same. My husband has left me broke and homeless, but thru the grace of God I am blessed with one amazing son. He and my daughter-in--law are moving me out to Kentucky to live w/them and then they will eventually set me up in a little apartment near them. My husband is my soul mate and it took me 50 years to find him. We were together a total of 71/2 years and only married 3 years. My husband died of Liver Disease and he was so close to getting a transplant, but God took him and I believe that had my husband made it to transplant, something far worse would have happened. I was with him in the ICU and talked to him all the way to the end and saw his last breath. Fortunately, most of his family was there w/me and I thank God for that too. Honey, If you believe in God, pray and pray and pray for your well being and trust that the Lord will help you. Your husband will always be with you in your heart and in your soul. No one can take that away from you. You have memories, probably good and bad like most of us, but focus on the good memories and remember that you did everything you could possibly for your husband. He knows this. Take life one day at a time, one hour at a time, or even minute at a time.
I pray for you and your family. Know that you are not alone.
Mrs.Woofie

  posted by mrswoofie on October 17, 2009