Death of a Parent
Josephine the Queen!
Well the day has come (two months ago actually)...but only today am I not still in so much shock that I can pen this: I miss you so much, Mom! I have a new friend, really a stranger until recently, helping me to put the pieces together. My sibling wants to put me out of the house where I cared for her so intensely for so long. Father forgive them for they know not what they do. But I have friends, though I feel so isolated, one in particular, who is scheming with me to envision us both wealthy and successful... and partnering with steps to bring that into fruition... despite all odds and personal barriers. It'll work out.
But right now, all there's been is pain and narcolepsy and insomnia and ghost living. Wow! I know you'd want me to be okay Mom, you tried your best. Now I'm trying to do my best, by staying open, in my non-linear way, and using strength if character, derived from you, to love and serve in a higher way... to become who you hoped I'd be but through your great love, never admonished. I wish everybody else on this page much love. We all are here to be something for the world and ourselves. I guess the pain I feel, at my Mother's departure, is the gap I now feel to loving myself, hence others, as much she loved me... giving myself the gift of bringing forth what I was really designed to be.
It's just today, today, it's 12:17pm (Saturday), I'm still in bed, and trying to be all resolved, and not there yet by a long shot. Well the Boyz (3pups/1cat) say hi, but I know you're still near and know't. Thanks even now for having shouldered me. I'm proud of you and I'm comin' on now (with my part, that is)!
You were a great actress and friend to so many. May I be as much a light now to those in need and a companion to you in your new dimension. I love you, Moma... but you always knew that anyway despite my manchild bs, didn't you.
Love, Dervin
But right now, all there's been is pain and narcolepsy and insomnia and ghost living. Wow! I know you'd want me to be okay Mom, you tried your best. Now I'm trying to do my best, by staying open, in my non-linear way, and using strength if character, derived from you, to love and serve in a higher way... to become who you hoped I'd be but through your great love, never admonished. I wish everybody else on this page much love. We all are here to be something for the world and ourselves. I guess the pain I feel, at my Mother's departure, is the gap I now feel to loving myself, hence others, as much she loved me... giving myself the gift of bringing forth what I was really designed to be.
It's just today, today, it's 12:17pm (Saturday), I'm still in bed, and trying to be all resolved, and not there yet by a long shot. Well the Boyz (3pups/1cat) say hi, but I know you're still near and know't. Thanks even now for having shouldered me. I'm proud of you and I'm comin' on now (with my part, that is)!
You were a great actress and friend to so many. May I be as much a light now to those in need and a companion to you in your new dimension. I love you, Moma... but you always knew that anyway despite my manchild bs, didn't you.
Love, Dervin
